Breakthrough...

Cue the music! BREAKTHROUGH!!!! YESSSS! Ive learned that breakthrough is a choice! Its something you have to FIGHT FOR and search for. Its something your flesh does not want! Well at least my flesh didnt. Isnt that weird. The word is true.....nothing good dwells in our flesh! I wanted to hang on to hurt, I wanted to continue to be ANGRY! For someone who has never lived life wanting to be angry. It was interesting that I would want to be angry and sad. What I had to do is PRESS and love those that I didnt trust or want to be around. That was the first step on my road to true FORGIVENESS.

It will start out UNCOMFORTABLE....but after a few moments your spirit will be at ease and that flesh will begin to finally SHUTUP! I love when my flesh is quiet...that thing is WILD and when in control...there will be TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE! Trouble for me and anyone else around for the whirlwind. One thing I discovered about me is that I have EXTREME INFLUENCE over many people, when Im down...it takes EVERYONE down! No one hangs out (even when I stay home), everyone is on edge and things fall apart. Seems like a point to be arrogant....NO! God has entrusted me with the lives of many people....no Im a Pastor (but I do have a GREAT one)...but many ppl follow me and as a leader its my responsibility to always be positive even through the tough times. That way I can teach others how to handle hardship....

Sometimes God calls some of us as leaders because He knows that our love for people will be one of the only things to keep us in line. I love people too much to allow them stumble! I know I will get through my issues...but they may not if they allow their emotions to take control! One breakdown for some can be the beginning of spiritual demise! I cant allow it! I wont allow it!

I stand on the word that says the JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH! Thats not cliche...its TRUTH! A truth I now receive....

My reaction is my RESPONSIBILITY!

Till Next Time....somebody is ALWAYS watching you!

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EMOTION ROLLERCOASTER!

I feel like singing Destiny's Child....

I feel like crying...

I feel like throwing up...

I feel you guys are talking about me...

I hate y'all...

Baby you the best!

You suck...

I don't have any friends...

I love you...

I could slap the taste out of your mouth....

I think you are lying....

Everyone thinks I'm crazy...

I'm ugly...

I'm fat...

I could care less if I ever see you guys again in life...

Have you ever felt like this? I used to be the kind of person that if I thought there was an issue...I would address it...no questions asked....did not care if I hurt your feelings. I had a problem and it was gonna get FIXED TODAY! I was completely blind of others feelings and was only concerned about myself. SELFISH! SELFISH! SELFISH! So I let love in pour my heart but little did I know I got something else, my emotions began to runneth over! Now I cared too much, I cared what everyone thinks and I wanted to please all of mankind. Out of balance and out of order! My emotions controlled how I felt and how I treated people. And every now and again I would have an emotional meltdown, where I was completely out of control and everyone was out to kill me!

Feeling this way caused me to fish for information I didn't want to know and when I found it...and it matched up with what I thought. Sent me in to rage/utter sadness! I began to distrust some of my closet friends and was simply uncomfortable in my own skin. This brought up insecurities and baggage, onset of depression.....Not good! Though people did do things that were WRONG (I stand by that firmly!). My response is my responsibility. I could no longer allow my emotions to control me, making me feel crazy and look crazy. The word is the source of my answers....I learned that I had to renew my mind. Which is a daily process. I was in the habit of just renewing my mind to get out of my current situation and when that was over....complacency set in. I also found this scripture that really spoke life to me....

He who is slow to anger is better than mighty, he who rules his own spirit than he who takes a city. Prov 16:32

I was not in control of myself. I was quick to become angry. I was quick to blame. I was NOT showing the love of God and something has got to give. The fact of the matter is I FELT THIS WAY. It wasn't something I made up....my spirit didn't want to feel this way so what can I do to stop this from happening again?

I read from another blog that "just because emotions are powerful does not mean that they are ALL powerful". When Jesus was about to get crucified, he was overcome with emotions. He didn't want to die on that cross, he didn't want to get beat and ridiculed. I cant even imagine! The first thing he did was pray to his father. The posture he had was "I DON'T WANT TO...but I WILL BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO" That is where it begins. I don't want forgive, I want to remember and dont want to trust you. BUT its not my place to make that decision. He forgave me, He trusts me with His gifts and He doesn't remember my sins. So I must do His will.

I cannot allow the enemy to magnify my emotions and stand in my way of increase and promotion! I wont allow the devil to make a fool of me and keep me in bondage. So bound up that I cant love the way I am designed to...the way I want to! I have to stick to this and make much effort CONSCIOUS effort.

Living this way is NOT THE WILL OF GOD FOR MY LIFE! So I am fasting for breakthrough...freedom that I already possess. Now its time to access it to never return to this place again! Writing a faith confessions has always been a good way for me to speak life into my situation and meditate on what God's word says and not what I say! Till his words become mine....

Till Next Time...

Riding Down Easy Street....

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Changes...

"Wanna make some changes, might leave some scars and it just might change the very thing that you are...sure it can make you famous, but don't you think its dangerous not to be EXACTLY what you were created for?"

-PJ Morton

I remember listening to this song about a year ago right before my life drastically changed. Let's rewind back there shall we. Here I was in the prestigious College of Medicine at the University of Florida on a FULL RIDE doing what I always said I dreamed. Sounds picture perfect right? WRONG! I hated every day of it. I cried myself to sleep and cringed at the thought of going to that lab each day. The work wasn't exciting anymore, I couldnt see how it was changing the world and quite honestly I wasn't happy. Well I could've been better but its hard to be the best at what you hate. What was I going to do? I was on the brink of losing my scholarship if I didn't produce some real results. AHHH! Then I heard that song and the words just resonated with my spirit. Sure getting my Ph.D could make me famous but it was dangerous if I am not doing what I was created to do. BUT WHAT WAS I CREATED TO DO! I always thought I was created to be a researcher...one who solved the world's problems through scientific pursuit. Somehow that didn't seem like it was coming together.

Lets look at the facts: Im smart as ALL GET OUT (true story!), I love science and I love talking about it and learning new things. You all know that Imma Christian (or at least you should...). So I turned to Holy Spirit...what do I do now Lord?

I was looking for a profound complex answer filled with scripture reference and background music. However, what I got was very different.....more like simple and profound! HS told me to go read my vision. Here's and small excerpt..."I will be a prolific educator..." no where in this vision I wrote for myself did the word RESEARCHER come up. It wasn't apart of the plan! So I focused on educator....from Ph.D to teacher? Hard decision...

Now that I am approaching the end of my twenties (oooooo MUFASA! eek!), Ive realized that life is filled with hard choices! Psalms 25:2 tell us..."Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose" I was racking my brain for answers when all I had to do was ask my Father (God that is...) for help. Holy Spirit helped me realize that what I was supposed to do was already in the vision. Since I was working outside of the vision my world was perishing [where there is no vision the people perish... Prov. 29:18].

So my direction changed...I applied to the College of Education. Now I am ready to graduate with my Master's of Education and just landed a new job as a biology teacher at Citrus High School! What a difference a year makes? God is faithful to his word...and when you follow the vision...YOU CAN NEVER LOSE! When I look at things, I realize that so many things have changed in my life. I live on my own, I have my own car (with a car note), I live in a brand new state, Ive met some new people, learned to live holy (and loving it!) and now I got a career I'm so excited about (a job with benefits...AHH feels so good)!

This is not the end of the story....actually its just the beginning! I'm drumming up a business plan of my own and thinking about getting my Ed.D some day. Ive let go of some dead weight in my life, realized that some relationships don't last forever (though I tried to make that thing WORK! LOL) and that real friendships are TIMELESS! I learned at a recent conference that my life is just a vapor....and I have to make the best of it! So Im so excited about whats coming....

Till Next Time....remember

Your dreams are one decision AWAY! CHOOSE LIFE!

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No more knots: Natural Hair Victory!

If you know anything about me, you know the one thing I love (besides my Jesus of of course) is my hair! Natural hair that is! Ive always been into healthy hair but I must say that since Ive become natural (it will be three years next month YAY!)...its become a pretty significant part of my life. I have extremely curly hair and those of you out that know what that means: FAIRY KNOTS! Yes, those little knots that get in our hair on individual strands. I would spend endless time cutting them out! I love you beautiful fairy...but you have to get up out of my head! Besides keeping those ends clipped (I clip mine every 3 months) here is a list for you ladies of things to do to be free from knots or at least reduce them significantly!

Always (and I mean ALWAYS) tie your hair down at night with a satin scarf or cover with a satin bonnet.
The friction and movement throughout the night not only sucks the moisture right out of your hair but it also leads to annoying knots

If at all possible....twist/braid your hair at night
Loose strands of hair are more likely to coil up into a knot so try and twist the hair up before bed to prevent this from happening. Stretched hair is less likely to knot up.

MOISTURIZE! MOISTERIZE!MOISTERIZE!
Now I'm not 100% sure if this has anything to do with getting rid of the knots but since Ive up the anty on my moisture....the knots have decreased! I use extra virgin coconut oil (EVCO) to seal in my moisture. I always spray a mix of honey, EVCO, and water in a spray bottle and spray that on my hair before bed. Its done wonders! I also co wash my hair at least 3x per week and DC 1x per week. I love LustraSilk Cholesterols (Olive Oil and Tea Tree are my favorites)! Nexxuss Humectress and Elasta QP DPR 11 are also staples of mine.

I dont claim to be an expert but I have had success with my hair when applying these simple tips. Till next time.....

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28 Special Things I Did Before I Turned 29

I am now 29 years old! WOOOT! I have made collage of some special things I did before my last birthday! Hope you enjoy it! Twenty nine has never looked sooooo fine!

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We all Sin....Right?

In church the cliche or the notion that everyone sins everyday has been around FOREVER. I cant front I used to think the same thing....BEWARE OF RELIGION! See what a religion does is that it sets up a bunch of rituals and thought patterns not always based on the infallible word of the living God. This is a problem....word to the wise just because Sis Johnson or your Sunday school teacher or even your pastor says something does NOT mean it is true. As a mature believer Ive learned to search out a matter thoroughly before I accept it. This isn't to say I don't trust my church leaders because I most certainly do but it is to say that God's word is the final authority not their interpretation. Thankfully for me, they always line up....I happen to attend a very healthy church

But can a human being really live a sin free life? Most would SAY NO! This is probably based on the scripture "All men have sinned and fallen short..." but does this scripture indicate that the sin is continual? NO! It says that at one time or another everyone has sinned and gone against God. Don't get scared.....you are not dammed to Hell...at least not yet. God put together a redemptive plan before the foundation of the earth through the blood of His son Jesus Christ and that message can be received TODAY! Romans 10:9 is a good place to start on your road to salvation.

During Jesus' ministry here on Earth he performed many miracles and did many wonders. One thing He would typically say after a miracle was "go and sin no more". I can recall of two specific times, once with the woman who committed adultery (Jhn 8:11) and the crippled man by the pool of Bethseda (Jhn 5:14). Now if this was an impossible feat....why would Jesus tell them to do this? Its not like he was talking in a parable or something....he was DEAD SERIOUS! So why cant we except the notion of living a sinless life? Probably cause most of us dont want to...you like it! Lets change that....

In my lovely opinion I feel the church has set up a system giving people a fleshy excuse to live their lives any kind of way. In the back of most Christians minds there is that reassurance that He will forgive me based on I Jhn 1:9. Last night my pastor showed us a scripture I dont think Ive ever paid much attention to (not to mention Ive read the entire bible...how I missed it I dont know);

Hebrews 10:26 [AMP] For if we go on deliberately and willingly sinning after once acquiring the knowledge of the Truth, there is no longer any sacrifice left to atone for [our] sins [no further offering to which to look forward].

Look I dont claim to be a bible scholar or nothing BUT I do know how to read and comprehend...this is NOTHING to play around with. Iniquity (habitual sin) will land you in a heap of trouble friends! I cant live for any of you reading this blog but for me and my house...I will do everything I can to expose and remove all sin from my life. I believe its possible. If I fall short IT WONT BE ON PURPOSE, IT WONT BE PLANNED and/or I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS WRONG. For that He is faithful and just to forgive. Stop playing russian roulette with your life...time is winding up. The Earth is slowing giving herself up (take a look at nature...), global warming, tsunamis, hurricanes, etc these things are not just a coincidence...

THIS IS A CLARION CALL FOR HOLINESS! Its time....
You are not missing out on anything....TRUST! I dont feel like Im hindered at all...my life is actually better than before and I can have sweet sleep at night because I am sure of my place in Him. Through salvation we are MADE righteous (we cant do it) but the choice to live righteously is YOUR DECISION. Honestly true believers will long to live righteously....if you dont check your status....KILL YOUR FLESH and FEED THE SPIRIT! Check you atmosphere....if you are the only saved person in your crew...maybe you should find another...they are a reflection of you and your character. If wake up in the morning with plans to sin....CHECK THAT! STOP IT PLEASE! Its time to renew the mind....

Ive been there...Im not perfect. Im just a typical woman who has accepted the way to bring me good success. I am a recipient of grace and mercy. Now I am righteous and live holy because of it...will you do the same?

Peace!

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The Missing Link??

So I was having a discussion with my mother on the way home from church about some of the changes Ive made in my life spiritually. Just expressing the revelation that Ive received from the Word since Ive been under this new ministry. So excited to express these things to my mom...I was just waiting for her to be like "PRAISE THE LORD I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" but that is not the response I got. Instead I received "Ive told you the same things and as a parent it hurts for you to receive from someone and not me". You can imagine that this kinda made me MAD!!! My thinking at the time was WHY CANT YOU JUST BE HAPPY I AM LIVING RIGHT...is there no pleasing you SHEESH! To be quite honest I was kinda pissed at the whole situation....
Like usual I sat down and reflected on what was being said in the conversation because I just couldn't understand what the big deal was about who I received it from. My position remains the same....but the question in my mind now is....WHY DIDN'T I RECEIVE BACK THEN? What makes it so different now then back then. Especially since now I am living on my life very far from any family or friends and could live my life any way I chose...why wait till I become completely free to become "free". Get it? What was the the missing link? Or should I say who....

As a teenager/young adult there is a natural rejection to anything someone that is significantly older than that said individual, right? We all know it. As young people we are looking for that next level in life of fulfillment, we look right to the level of success around us. So for me that would've been the young people just ahead of me, those living the fabulous life, wearing the fly clothes, driving that car, and with the flawless hair. Not to say my mom was not that woman but that she was too far ahead for me to want what she had...those days were past for her and she was/is in a different place in life.

The ones I watched....were doing just about the opposite of anything my mother told me. Gave me the exact opposite advice and guidance. Who was I going to listen to...me being a baby Christian at the time? I'm looking at two women....one who I want to be like the other who I love dearly and want to be like but just not right now. Both seemingly Christian and working in the church. So I took the other route. What was missing for me was that fly link to tell me what my mother said in that way that wouldn't upset my stomach. But they weren't there...

Now is that to say I had an excuse to go down Christian-Hypocrite Rd.? NO! Its to say as a family of believers there is some responsibility. As Christians our lives are not our own...its our responsibility to not be stumbling blocks to other believers.

In my church I know that the teens and the others younger than I look to me. It amazes me when someone comes up to me and says...."Leslie your so beautiful and I love how you live for God....I wanna be like you" WOW! I'm sure some of their mamas are saying the same thing as what I am saying....but how much easier is it when someone you aspire to be NOW says it! That's what you call confirmation people!

I know for me a big part of me making a shift was the group of people I hung with....we all were young, coming from different cities, and longing for a change. Then this man and woman of God showed us how God wanted to use us NOW! All of this in a rusty hotel room.....this same small church now gets over 100 souls saved in street evangelism in one hour and raises over $100,000 in one service less than 3 years later.....YES & AMEN!

The missing link in the church these days are those 19-35! Im so tired of seeing just old people and babies in church. Even more tired of seeing the missing links there but they are doing everything contrary to the word. If you cant take that drink with your Pastor, if you cant sing that song lyric, or do that dance, tell him who you live/sexing with, or say that word when you are the MC at afternoon service....maybe you should rethink it. You are setting the standard for those under you.

I never will forget when I was in "Youth Church", must of been about 13-14 yrs old, two individuals attempted to talk about abstinence. Yet refused to discuss how that meant NO SEX....they bounced around the subject like I don't know what! They claimed it just didn't refer to sex and talked about other things they were comfortable with. It was a devastating moment in my life....needless to say both of these individuals were fornicating...and I knew it. We all were laughing at them the whole time, they thought they were fooling us....THEY WEREN'T! I mean they were still serving so it must of not been that bad....maybe mama was over doing it with the no sex thing....or at least that was the stronghold that began to form in my mind. Not many years hence (well it took a while).....well lets just say NOW I AM THE FORGIVEN!

I am just saying....step up! Stop faking it....cause we all know...and even if we don't....GOD KNOWS! We are responsible for these kids....I wont let one slip by me being a bad example...
Yes we all make our own decisions.....but we are a family....more is CAUGHT than TAUGHT!

That's the love of God.....simply stated!

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