Breakthrough...

Cue the music! BREAKTHROUGH!!!! YESSSS! Ive learned that breakthrough is a choice! Its something you have to FIGHT FOR and search for. Its something your flesh does not want! Well at least my flesh didnt. Isnt that weird. The word is true.....nothing good dwells in our flesh! I wanted to hang on to hurt, I wanted to continue to be ANGRY! For someone who has never lived life wanting to be angry. It was interesting that I would want to be angry and sad. What I had to do is PRESS and love those that I didnt trust or want to be around. That was the first step on my road to true FORGIVENESS.

It will start out UNCOMFORTABLE....but after a few moments your spirit will be at ease and that flesh will begin to finally SHUTUP! I love when my flesh is quiet...that thing is WILD and when in control...there will be TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE! Trouble for me and anyone else around for the whirlwind. One thing I discovered about me is that I have EXTREME INFLUENCE over many people, when Im down...it takes EVERYONE down! No one hangs out (even when I stay home), everyone is on edge and things fall apart. Seems like a point to be arrogant....NO! God has entrusted me with the lives of many people....no Im a Pastor (but I do have a GREAT one)...but many ppl follow me and as a leader its my responsibility to always be positive even through the tough times. That way I can teach others how to handle hardship....

Sometimes God calls some of us as leaders because He knows that our love for people will be one of the only things to keep us in line. I love people too much to allow them stumble! I know I will get through my issues...but they may not if they allow their emotions to take control! One breakdown for some can be the beginning of spiritual demise! I cant allow it! I wont allow it!

I stand on the word that says the JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH! Thats not cliche...its TRUTH! A truth I now receive....

My reaction is my RESPONSIBILITY!

Till Next Time....somebody is ALWAYS watching you!

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EMOTION ROLLERCOASTER!

I feel like singing Destiny's Child....

I feel like crying...

I feel like throwing up...

I feel you guys are talking about me...

I hate y'all...

Baby you the best!

You suck...

I don't have any friends...

I love you...

I could slap the taste out of your mouth....

I think you are lying....

Everyone thinks I'm crazy...

I'm ugly...

I'm fat...

I could care less if I ever see you guys again in life...

Have you ever felt like this? I used to be the kind of person that if I thought there was an issue...I would address it...no questions asked....did not care if I hurt your feelings. I had a problem and it was gonna get FIXED TODAY! I was completely blind of others feelings and was only concerned about myself. SELFISH! SELFISH! SELFISH! So I let love in pour my heart but little did I know I got something else, my emotions began to runneth over! Now I cared too much, I cared what everyone thinks and I wanted to please all of mankind. Out of balance and out of order! My emotions controlled how I felt and how I treated people. And every now and again I would have an emotional meltdown, where I was completely out of control and everyone was out to kill me!

Feeling this way caused me to fish for information I didn't want to know and when I found it...and it matched up with what I thought. Sent me in to rage/utter sadness! I began to distrust some of my closet friends and was simply uncomfortable in my own skin. This brought up insecurities and baggage, onset of depression.....Not good! Though people did do things that were WRONG (I stand by that firmly!). My response is my responsibility. I could no longer allow my emotions to control me, making me feel crazy and look crazy. The word is the source of my answers....I learned that I had to renew my mind. Which is a daily process. I was in the habit of just renewing my mind to get out of my current situation and when that was over....complacency set in. I also found this scripture that really spoke life to me....

He who is slow to anger is better than mighty, he who rules his own spirit than he who takes a city. Prov 16:32

I was not in control of myself. I was quick to become angry. I was quick to blame. I was NOT showing the love of God and something has got to give. The fact of the matter is I FELT THIS WAY. It wasn't something I made up....my spirit didn't want to feel this way so what can I do to stop this from happening again?

I read from another blog that "just because emotions are powerful does not mean that they are ALL powerful". When Jesus was about to get crucified, he was overcome with emotions. He didn't want to die on that cross, he didn't want to get beat and ridiculed. I cant even imagine! The first thing he did was pray to his father. The posture he had was "I DON'T WANT TO...but I WILL BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO" That is where it begins. I don't want forgive, I want to remember and dont want to trust you. BUT its not my place to make that decision. He forgave me, He trusts me with His gifts and He doesn't remember my sins. So I must do His will.

I cannot allow the enemy to magnify my emotions and stand in my way of increase and promotion! I wont allow the devil to make a fool of me and keep me in bondage. So bound up that I cant love the way I am designed to...the way I want to! I have to stick to this and make much effort CONSCIOUS effort.

Living this way is NOT THE WILL OF GOD FOR MY LIFE! So I am fasting for breakthrough...freedom that I already possess. Now its time to access it to never return to this place again! Writing a faith confessions has always been a good way for me to speak life into my situation and meditate on what God's word says and not what I say! Till his words become mine....

Till Next Time...

Riding Down Easy Street....

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Changes...

"Wanna make some changes, might leave some scars and it just might change the very thing that you are...sure it can make you famous, but don't you think its dangerous not to be EXACTLY what you were created for?"

-PJ Morton

I remember listening to this song about a year ago right before my life drastically changed. Let's rewind back there shall we. Here I was in the prestigious College of Medicine at the University of Florida on a FULL RIDE doing what I always said I dreamed. Sounds picture perfect right? WRONG! I hated every day of it. I cried myself to sleep and cringed at the thought of going to that lab each day. The work wasn't exciting anymore, I couldnt see how it was changing the world and quite honestly I wasn't happy. Well I could've been better but its hard to be the best at what you hate. What was I going to do? I was on the brink of losing my scholarship if I didn't produce some real results. AHHH! Then I heard that song and the words just resonated with my spirit. Sure getting my Ph.D could make me famous but it was dangerous if I am not doing what I was created to do. BUT WHAT WAS I CREATED TO DO! I always thought I was created to be a researcher...one who solved the world's problems through scientific pursuit. Somehow that didn't seem like it was coming together.

Lets look at the facts: Im smart as ALL GET OUT (true story!), I love science and I love talking about it and learning new things. You all know that Imma Christian (or at least you should...). So I turned to Holy Spirit...what do I do now Lord?

I was looking for a profound complex answer filled with scripture reference and background music. However, what I got was very different.....more like simple and profound! HS told me to go read my vision. Here's and small excerpt..."I will be a prolific educator..." no where in this vision I wrote for myself did the word RESEARCHER come up. It wasn't apart of the plan! So I focused on educator....from Ph.D to teacher? Hard decision...

Now that I am approaching the end of my twenties (oooooo MUFASA! eek!), Ive realized that life is filled with hard choices! Psalms 25:2 tell us..."Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose" I was racking my brain for answers when all I had to do was ask my Father (God that is...) for help. Holy Spirit helped me realize that what I was supposed to do was already in the vision. Since I was working outside of the vision my world was perishing [where there is no vision the people perish... Prov. 29:18].

So my direction changed...I applied to the College of Education. Now I am ready to graduate with my Master's of Education and just landed a new job as a biology teacher at Citrus High School! What a difference a year makes? God is faithful to his word...and when you follow the vision...YOU CAN NEVER LOSE! When I look at things, I realize that so many things have changed in my life. I live on my own, I have my own car (with a car note), I live in a brand new state, Ive met some new people, learned to live holy (and loving it!) and now I got a career I'm so excited about (a job with benefits...AHH feels so good)!

This is not the end of the story....actually its just the beginning! I'm drumming up a business plan of my own and thinking about getting my Ed.D some day. Ive let go of some dead weight in my life, realized that some relationships don't last forever (though I tried to make that thing WORK! LOL) and that real friendships are TIMELESS! I learned at a recent conference that my life is just a vapor....and I have to make the best of it! So Im so excited about whats coming....

Till Next Time....remember

Your dreams are one decision AWAY! CHOOSE LIFE!

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No more knots: Natural Hair Victory!

If you know anything about me, you know the one thing I love (besides my Jesus of of course) is my hair! Natural hair that is! Ive always been into healthy hair but I must say that since Ive become natural (it will be three years next month YAY!)...its become a pretty significant part of my life. I have extremely curly hair and those of you out that know what that means: FAIRY KNOTS! Yes, those little knots that get in our hair on individual strands. I would spend endless time cutting them out! I love you beautiful fairy...but you have to get up out of my head! Besides keeping those ends clipped (I clip mine every 3 months) here is a list for you ladies of things to do to be free from knots or at least reduce them significantly!

Always (and I mean ALWAYS) tie your hair down at night with a satin scarf or cover with a satin bonnet.
The friction and movement throughout the night not only sucks the moisture right out of your hair but it also leads to annoying knots

If at all possible....twist/braid your hair at night
Loose strands of hair are more likely to coil up into a knot so try and twist the hair up before bed to prevent this from happening. Stretched hair is less likely to knot up.

MOISTURIZE! MOISTERIZE!MOISTERIZE!
Now I'm not 100% sure if this has anything to do with getting rid of the knots but since Ive up the anty on my moisture....the knots have decreased! I use extra virgin coconut oil (EVCO) to seal in my moisture. I always spray a mix of honey, EVCO, and water in a spray bottle and spray that on my hair before bed. Its done wonders! I also co wash my hair at least 3x per week and DC 1x per week. I love LustraSilk Cholesterols (Olive Oil and Tea Tree are my favorites)! Nexxuss Humectress and Elasta QP DPR 11 are also staples of mine.

I dont claim to be an expert but I have had success with my hair when applying these simple tips. Till next time.....

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28 Special Things I Did Before I Turned 29

I am now 29 years old! WOOOT! I have made collage of some special things I did before my last birthday! Hope you enjoy it! Twenty nine has never looked sooooo fine!

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